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It can be hard to talk to your kids about difficult subjects like tobacco use. However, it’s important to begin talking with your kids in their preteen years, even if bringing up the subject makes you feel uncomfortable. The earlier you start, the easier it will be to talk with your kids as they get older and as peer pressure and other factors become more prevalent.
Begin by asking your kid open-ended, non-accusatory questions about smoking. Explain that you want to talk about why your kid started smoking. If your kid smokes because of peer pressure or stress, show compassion for what your kid is going through and talk to your kid about these triggers.
To increase your odds of having a productive conversation, listen to your kid, ask open-ended, non-judgmental questions, talk when and where your kid feels most comfortable, acknowledge your kid’s feelings so your kid knows he or she can turn to you for help, and show your disapproval of tobacco use (rather than disapproval of your kid or your kid’s friends who smoke).
Focus on the short-term consequences of smoking (sore throats, coughing, bad breath, smelly clothes, yellow teeth, poor performance in sports). Acknowledge the challenges of peer pressure, talk through ways to deal with those challenges, and show your kid how much money he or she can save and spend elsewhere by not smoking. Be sure to also discuss all forms of tobacco, including chew and snuff.
- Friends Who Smoke - kids with three or more friends who smoke are ten times more likely to smoke than kids whose friends don’t smoke. Make it a point to know who your kid’s friends are.
- Gum and Mints - kids sometimes use gum, mints, or mouthwash to cover up the smell of smoke on their breath. Kids who smoke may also brush their teeth more than usual.
- Matches and Lighters - kids who keep matches or lighters in their backpacks or bedrooms may be smoking. Matches and lighters are good indicators of cigarette use, even if you don’t find the cigarettes themselves.
- Smell of Smoke - if you smell smoke in your kid’s hair or on your kid’s clothes, there’s a good chance your kid is smoking. If not, your kid is probably hanging out with others who smoke, making it more likely your kid will start.
- Excuses to Go Outside - if you notice your kid making excuses to leave the house for no apparent reason, pay attention. It’s possible your kid is going outside to smoke.
- Perfume or Cologne - kids often try to mask the smell of smoke by using perfume or cologne.
- Febreze™ or Air Freshener - if your kid is using Febreze™ or air freshener on their clothing, in their car, or in their bedroom, your kid may be trying to cover up the smell of smoke.
