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Once you see the warning signs, start asking questions. Be direct but non-confrontational. You want to open the lines of communication, not intimidate your kid or make your kid fear anger and punishment. This is your chance to help your kid recognize the dangers of tobacco use, and your compassionate communication may be the key to your kid’s long-term success in quitting. It’s hard to know exactly what to say, but you can make it easier on yourself if you’re ready to handle the following common responses and excuses that kids give.
I’m sorry, I’ll stop--Praise your kid for being brave enough to stop smoking. Reassure your kid of your love and support, and remind your kid that there’s no need to feel guilty. Show you understand how hard it is to quit, and commit to helping your kid.
I don’t smoke--Your kid may be telling the truth, or your kid may be lying to you. Either way, don’t challenge your kid or call your kid a liar. Instead, tell your kid that, regardless whether he or she smokes, you want to talk about the dangers of tobacco.
You smoke, so I can too--Explain that you want your kid to learn from your mistakes. Let your kid know that, like most adult smokers, you wish you’d never started. And if you’re actually willing to quit, be sure to tell your kid and suggest you quit together.
Don’t tell me what to do--Explain that you’re not trying to tell your kid what to do. It’s ultimately your kid’s choice whether or not to smoke. However, because this choice will affect your kid for the rest of his or her life, it’s important for you both to discuss it.
It’s not a big deal--Tell your kid it is a big deal. Smoking has serious health consequences. Kids who smoke also have problems with bad breath, smelly clothes, and yellow teeth. Their performance in sports suffers, and they could be spending their money on other things like clothes or a car.
I don’t do it often--Explain that tobacco companies target kids and take advantage of them by getting them addicted while they’re young. Explain that your kid can get addicted even your kid doesn’t smoke every day.
I can quit anytime--A shocking 90% of adult smokers began using tobacco before they graduated high school. Most of these smokers thought at one time or another that they could quit whenever they wanted. The time to quit is now.
- Friends Who Smoke - kids with three or more friends who smoke are ten times more likely to smoke than kids whose friends don’t smoke. Make it a point to know who your kid’s friends are.
- Gum and Mints - kids sometimes use gum, mints, or mouthwash to cover up the smell of smoke on their breath. Kids who smoke may also brush their teeth more than usual.
- Matches and Lighters - kids who keep matches or lighters in their backpacks or bedrooms may be smoking. Matches and lighters are good indicators of cigarette use, even if you don’t find the cigarettes themselves.
- Smell of Smoke - if you smell smoke in your kid’s hair or on your kid’s clothes, there’s a good chance your kid is smoking. If not, your kid is probably hanging out with others who smoke, making it more likely your kid will start.
- Excuses to Go Outside - if you notice your kid making excuses to leave the house for no apparent reason, pay attention. It’s possible your kid is going outside to smoke.
- Perfume or Cologne - kids often try to mask the smell of smoke by using perfume or cologne.
- Febreze™ or Air Freshener - if your kid is using Febreze™ or air freshener on their clothing, in their car, or in their bedroom, your kid may be trying to cover up the smell of smoke.
